TECHNOLUSTING | JADEDOTO.NET

...fully loaded we got a snack and some supplies anyway.

Took a mini roadtrip down south with Amy and Michael. Pictures to come laterz.

I'm getting so terrible lately. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I ind of just want to wrap myself up with work and forget about the world or so something and just yea. I really need to get away from everything and everyone for a very long time. I am looking forward to a week in the woods with nobody around. It will be very nice to cut myself off from civilization in general. Especially since I'm pretty sure I won't get cell reception up there anyway, and my phone will probably die.

In other news, yeserday was interesting. Pride Festival was alright, and afterwards IHOP + Marc's place + Bennett's and movies. Watched Interview with the Vampire and then HAIRSPRAY. And also the Buffy musical episode. Buffy was alright. I'm not particularly a fan of Buffy, but I might be able to get into it. Iunno.

Inside lately I've been a wreck. Honestly I've felt on the verge of a mental breakdown for a few months now, and just lately it's starting to bubble up. For example, last night I did a very un-manly thing and cried to sleep. And today I woke up completely depressed and then when I played violin for a bit I only played sad fiddle tunes (I <3 the Ashokan Farewell) and cried. It's such a surreal experience to play the fiddle and cry... I don't know, it sounds melodramatic probably because it is.

So I'm lunching right now, very lightly, on clam chowder. I'm not too fond of this chowder. It's kinda gross. So I've eaten a few spoonfulls and now I'm done with it. My appetite lately has also been off the deep end. I've hardly eaten at all the past few days. Last night I had an omelette at IHOP and that was like WOA tons of food for me >.<

So yea. this is my emo post. Emo emo emo emo emo. There are currently some people I wish would just eat a bullet. Really. Perhaps including myself.


I think I'm going to drive around for a bit today. I don't know what else to do with my day. I want to go to Common Grounds or something and work on this history website a bit, but I don't know. Amy's got to go to Versailles so I probably will just go and be emo by myselfs.

I cut myself today and it makes me look like I'm twelve:

It's time for a back to basics approach to web design. Enjoy.

It's so not finished and completely crappy, but some parts of it are autobiographical. I forgot the conversation I had with my dad telling me I'm fighting a losing battle at to just give up... hrm... I could hardly heck reading this myself, the style is atrocious for most of it! lol

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the story of my life


I remember my friends, my friends remember their friends, and we all remember our friends- as the book says, we're never more than six degrees of separation from everyone. And yet, it's almost like I'm on the outside looking in. Sure, I love them, but I don't know what that love really is. Is it how many times we've sat up late watching movies through the blurry red channels at 1 in the morning, the coffees that I had while sitting downtown, or even the time we ran through the fountains downtown even though it was 35 degrees outside?

I remember singing songs at camp when I was little- and I called that love. I remember my best friends all making fun of my singing (what boy doesn't have a high voice when they're 10?), and I remember those escapades sneaking out of the cabin early in the morning to go to the lake and watch the sun rise and hear the birds start chirping. I remember getting in trouble, I remember being harangued by the counselors and the shy giggles we made knowing that they can't touch us. We were invincible.

I remember. But live is just a series of moments, is it not?

Watching this movie. The skinny: troubled kid moves to Orlando because his little brother gets a tennis scholarship. The older one is the unappreciated "bad kid" of the family. He has serious guilt issues... essentially he joins an underground fight club and trains like a motherfucker. Interesting movie, kind of inspirational (not nearly as good as Keith was yesterday though).

Only an hour of work left today. I can't wait to leave. Watching this movie, I can see how Zack would want to get into this stuff. Blockheads, but you know, whatever. I see the appeal of the camaraderie and the community, but much of that would seem nullified by the getting knocked out and injured for fun. I don't like getting into fights. Definitely won't do it for fun xD

I am glad it is, though I cannot believe it is Friday already. This week has gone by unnecessarily fast. I have so many things I want to say here on the blog, but so many things I probably shouldn't/can't express anyway. So I won't. Lalala.